Gender equality is an individual being able to do something without being judged by their gender, and instead being judged on the individual’s own strengths and weaknesses. Men and women do not have characteristics that differentiate them from each other. Women can have “masculine" traits and vice versa, and it doesn’t make them less of who they are. Short people and tall people are not the same. We do not expect a seven foot man and a five foot man to have the same experience of life. We do not expect a seven foot man to understand what it’s like to be unable to reach things and to be looked down on by other men because he has not lived those experiences. Do we believe the seven and five foot men to be equals? Of course we do. Just because they have different experiences, and outlooks, doesn’t make them less than equal.
Reasonably speaking, this is how we have to view gender. Men and women are not the same. Women have to deal with menstruation, and breasts, a natural tendency for a less sturdy build, and reproduction, on the biological level discounting social factors. Men have to deal with entirely different things. Male and female chemical balances and brain compositions are not the same. Male and female perceptions are not the same. Male and female realities are not the same. Not only do men and women experience things that the other sex simply is not capable of experiencing, but when faced with identical situations, men and women still do not necessarily have the same experiences. Note that men and women can experience things in the same way. Just like short and tall people sometimes experience things the same way. We are all human, after all. Some things, we all have in common.
We often experience reality in very different fashions, because of very biological factors. However, men and women are as much equals as short and tall people. As much equals as high-IQ and low-IQ individuals, as much equals as athletes and programmers and as equal as any two human beings can possibly be. I personally uphold that the key to an equal reality is in acknowledging that our differences do not make us unequal. They do not make either gender less capable, or less powerful. Both genders are equally powerful and equally capable.
Understand that men have an innate tendency to view things in a linear fashion, women have an innate tendency to view things in non-linear fashions. Men tend to have more muscular builds, while women tend to have lighter, or softer builds. These are just tendencies. It doesn’t mean that women can’t think linearly, or that men cannot embrace “feminine" non-linear thought-forms.
Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. It’s true of individuals, and is just as true of groups. If we want equality, we have to recognize that women do not, should not and need to strive for “male" qualities. Better still, there is no reason that men should need to avoid or disregard “female" qualities. Women make up half of the human condition and half of the human experience. Men make up the other half. It is impossible to represent and understand all that it is to be human without hearing and trying to understand both sides. Just as listening to, understanding, and accounting for a shorter person’s perspective helps a tall person to be a more considerate, well-rounded person, listening to, understanding, and accounting for the perspectives of women and men will enhance the entirety of the human experience for everyone. Marriages will be stronger and more harmonious. Government can become more organic and balanced. Social environments will open up, expand, evolve and grow. The economy will bust with the new innovations sprung from not only new contenders, but new collaborative enterprises. Everything will become more varied, more natural, more whole and more healthy.
Men have higher incidences of anger and guilt related troubles- even going so far as to give them higher incidences of heart attacks, violence, and other stress-related troubles. Now to put this back into perspective, we can cut back in depression, eating disorders, heart attacks, violence, crime and stress. Do you ever wonder why so many little boys are molested, or kidnapped? Society shelters our little girls and teaches our boys to suck it up, not to cry about things and not to whine or complain. Those lessons stick more than they should. Not watching little boys as close as we watch our little girls is why things like that happen to boys so much. They’re easy targets.
I know so many men who have no idea how to express any emotions other than anger and happiness because they were told that "real men" don't show their emotions. Worst of all, they don’t realize that they can be passive aggressive and that they can be angry and not have to hit something, or shoot something, or "take it like a man." They can cry when they’re frustrated. Honestly, in my opinion, a man is someone who can accept his emotions for what they are, let them out in a healthy way, and not care what anyone thinks about them having emotions. Sure, they don’t let their emotions rule them, but they don’t pretend to be tough just because they are sad or just needing to have a good cry. I’ve noticed that a lot of the young adults who commit suicide are young men. I think that it’s because they step out on their own, without anyone to deflect those emotions and they become so overwhelmed by something they never learned how to handle that they just can’t take it anymore and think it’s a way out.
We need to let our kids be kids, play with the toys they want to play with, keep them tough, but let them know that it’s okay to have emotions. Let them know that no matter what they do or who they are, we will always love them and be there for them. That is how you make your children into decent, loving people, by showing them –through example- how to be decent, loving people. We can achieve this and literally, all we have to do is let go of any rigid gender stratification. It’s that simple. We need to stop being “the male species" and “the female species" and start being humans. Because that’s what we are- one. We are one species and one class. As long as we continue to insist that half of us are only half-as-human, we can never, ever reach our full potential as a species.
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