Original Version:
Ganito Ka Rin Ba Mag-ENGLISH?
(To whoever gets to understand this letter, CONGRATULATIONS!)
The following is a letter found at a certain bar in Manila and has been preserved in its original, unedited form. Enjoy reading and you may try direct translation in Tagalog. Pls. read with feelings…
October 1996,
To Marije,
I am not surprise or wander why Dennis leave you why? What reason can you think but you're very fat body. I thought before that Dennis only use me to his toy but sooner and later I'm realize that he really can't not beared or stomached to be with you anymore because at first, Dennis say he could not stand you're habit of making pakialam all his walks (lakad) and always calling to their house what he go home or this or that.
And then he say he get ashame to me either in school or in his family and then asking you to exercise you're very very, very fat body. But you hate it. Thought you're the most preetiest girls he knows about. What do you think you are "BeautifulGirl" of Jose Marie Chan?
Even you are beautiful face (to your think) you do not have the right to called me whatsoever or else difference name one time or the other for the real purposed to insults my personality because I'm never call you names either in the fronts of Dennis or in the backs of Dennis, but if you start already to calling me different name, I don't have any other choice but to call you other different name to. Like you are a, PIG, FAT, OBESSED, OVERWIGHT, AND UGLY SHAPE girl. Shame to you're body that is to a BUDING.
You can't not blame Dennis for exchanging you to me because I am the more sexier that you when you look to us in the mirror. I'm repeat again that you are like Ike Lozada when she is a girl.
Love,
The sexiest Girl of D.M.
P.S.
You say that I'm the bad breathe but who is Dennis want to kissed. Me or you? And the final is me. There you go.
The following is a letter found at a certain bar in Manila and has been preserved in its original, unedited form. Enjoy reading and you may try direct translation in Tagalog. Pls. read with feelings…
October 1996,
To Marije,
I am not surprise or wander why Dennis leave you why? What reason can you think but you're very fat body. I thought before that Dennis only use me to his toy but sooner and later I'm realize that he really can't not beared or stomached to be with you anymore because at first, Dennis say he could not stand you're habit of making pakialam all his walks (lakad) and always calling to their house what he go home or this or that.
And then he say he get ashame to me either in school or in his family and then asking you to exercise you're very very, very fat body. But you hate it. Thought you're the most preetiest girls he knows about. What do you think you are "BeautifulGirl" of Jose Marie Chan?
Even you are beautiful face (to your think) you do not have the right to called me whatsoever or else difference name one time or the other for the real purposed to insults my personality because I'm never call you names either in the fronts of Dennis or in the backs of Dennis, but if you start already to calling me different name, I don't have any other choice but to call you other different name to. Like you are a, PIG, FAT, OBESSED, OVERWIGHT, AND UGLY SHAPE girl. Shame to you're body that is to a BUDING.
You can't not blame Dennis for exchanging you to me because I am the more sexier that you when you look to us in the mirror. I'm repeat again that you are like Ike Lozada when she is a girl.
Love,
The sexiest Girl of D.M.
P.S.
You say that I'm the bad breathe but who is Dennis want to kissed. Me or you? And the final is me. There you go.
Heavily Edited Version:
Ganito Ka Rin Ba Mag-ENGLISH?
(To whoever gets to understand this letter,
CONGRATULATIONS!)
The following is a letter found at a certain bar in Manila and
has been preserved in its original, unedited form. Enjoy reading and you may
try direct translation in Tagalog. Please read with feelings.
October 1996,
To Marije,
I am not
surprised nor do I wonder why Dennis left you. The reason is because you have a
very fat body. I used to think Dennis was only using me as his toy but sooner
or later I realized that he really can't bear or stomach being with you anymore
because at first, Dennis kept saying he could not stand your habit of sticking
your nose into his business and always calling his house.
And then, he
said he gets ashamed of you at school and in front of his family and he told me
that he asks you to exercise your very very, very fat body. But you hate it.
You think you're the prettiest girl he knows. What do you think you are;
"Beautiful Girl" by Jose Marie Chan?
Even if you
think you have a beautiful face, you do not have the right to call me names
because I never call you names in front of Dennis or behind his back, but if
you've already started to call me names, I don't have a choice but to call you
names too. You are a, big, fat, obsessed, overweight and ugly shaped girl.
Shame to you, whose body is the size of a building.
You can't blame
Dennis for replacing you with me because I am sexier when you look at our
reflections in the mirror. You're like Ike Lozada if he were a girl.
Love,
The sexiest girl of D.M.
P.S.
You say that I have bad breath but who does Dennis want
to kiss; me or you? The final answer is me.
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Reaction:
This pretty much took sweat, blood and tears to translate in a coherent whole. I literally cringed like, every other word. I really do hope the person who wrote this was just a troll because if there are really idiots out there who talk like that, I will be drained of all my hope for humanity. Half the time, I don't even know what the girl is saying so I just sort of wing it and hope that what I'm translating is what she's trying to say. It's people like her that make me glad that English is a school subject, to be honest.
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